Work-Life Balance for Moms
Managing Motherhood and Your Career
The Balancing Act for Overwhelmed Moms
The idea of balance feels like a myth, right? It seems completely unachievable, yet our desire for it is unavoidable. We crave “work-life balance” and being able to manage the mom load while still achieving our career goals.
When you’re with your kids, you’re thinking about work. And when you’re working, you’re thinking about the kids. But then you get to the end of the day, and you feel like you haven’t really thrived in either of those areas, and you’re just getting by on coffee and a few hours of restless sleep every night.
How to recognize an unbalanced life
Well, you’re already here reading this, which means you probably notice stress within yourself, feeling pulled between the different parts of your identity. But there are also other signs that might tell you the balance is off:
You’re irritable, stressed, and exhausted.
If you feel like you’re running on fumes with nothing left to give, something is definitely off. You’re snapping at your family more, doing your best to hold it together with work, and going to bed at night already dreading the next day, your balance is definitely off.
You have difficulty focusing.
At work, your brain is pulled in too many directions, and at least one of those is the nagging thoughts about the kids activities, the family schedule, and how you’re going to manage it all. Then at home, you have trouble focusing on what’s next on the to-do list. You’re in the middle of laundry when you remember you need to email your child’s teacher. But you open your phone to handle that, and get distracted by another work email that came in after hours. It often feels like your world is spinning out of control, and it’s impossible to focus when the tasks outweigh the time you have to dedicate to them.
You don’t have boundaries.
The concept of boundaries feels a bit unknown and far-fetched to you. You check your email like your life depends on it. Work and home life all blend together because you’re constantly trying to juggle both simultaneously. There aren’t time limits on either of them, and so your day is consumed by it all. You don’t get to enjoy time with your kids because your brain is still often in work mode when you want to just focus on family time.
Those are just a few things that stand out to you, but I’m sure there are other signs you may notice that show you things are pretty unbalanced and you’re approaching burnout. Pay attention to what your signs are, so you can start to notice burnout sooner and better care for yourself.
How to create work-life balance
You noticed you’re unbalanced, and even noticing that is such an important step. Pay attention to how the lack of balance shows up in your life, to help you navigate where to go from here.
Start with re-prioritization.
Identify daily and weekly necessary tasks, in both home life and work life. Make a brain-dump list. Get out a plain sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle, make a column for home and a column for work. Write down all of the things you have to (and the things you want to) do in each area. Then make a new list, writing each task in order of priority. Once you have your priorities straight, it’s easier to schedule things and know what to focus on each day. You can also use my free download here for a simple template to help you plan and structure your day.
Set clear boundaries.
Yes, it’s important to prioritize, but that only goes so far without the boundaries in place to help you know when to shift. As you schedule your day, think of your time limits around work and home life. Get clear on when to turn on and off each one. Consider using separate email accounts for work vs home life tasks. Consider using do not disturb or focus settings to turn off distractions at work, or even at home with the kids. Put your phone down.
I know this can be tricky, especially if your job is the type that requires you to be on-call, or to be able to respond to communication after typical work hours. So each day when you’re transitioning to home life, ask yourself if it is truly required of you to be available that day. If not, put the phone away. If it is, keep your phone on you for notifications, but only if absolutely necessary.
Incorporate flexibility into your mindset.
Especially if work requires you to be flexible with your hours, you have to hold boundaries with flexibility. Have a plan for the structure you want and do your best to schedule and stay accountable to that structure. But don’t be hard on yourself when you have a bad day with it. Remember to be flexible and gentle on yourself when balance is hard to find.
Seek support.
You cannot do it all on your own. You are one person, trying to keep plates spinning in so many areas of your life. Be willing to ask for help, and gracious enough to accept it when it is offered. Maybe once or twice a month, your mom friends can support you by doing group dinners so all the kids get fed and it’s less you have to plan. If you have family members who are available, ask for help with getting kids to and from after school activities when needed. Arrange a carpool with other parents. And if you do have a partner, remember you aren’t alone in this. They can share the load with you. Don’t try to do it all on your own.
And it’s not just about support in your family life. Seek support at work too. Let your employer or coworkers know, when appropriate, what your needs and challenges are. Communicate openly about any schedule issues you have, and times you may need to leave work early or be available for a school function. If you’re concerned about expressing needs, remember you can also be proactive by sharing how you plan to address work needs and stay on top of work tasks, especially when you are needed more at home.
Maintain a self-care routine.
I know, I know; people say this all the time. But it’s cliché because it’s true. But when I say self-care, I don’t mean the random bubble bath or coffee treat. Those things are nice, but you need more. You need the healthy habits built in that keep your nervous system regulated. It takes effort to establish care for yourself in the balance you hold with work and family, but it is vital.
As you’re scheduling your week, make sure you schedule time for a walk or other exercise. Even if that walk means the kids are with you. Keep enough time in your schedule for rest and sleep. Even if that means you work to get the kids on a normal bedtime so you can have one, too. If you aren’t rested and regulated, it’s going to be hard to manage anything else or care for anyone else. So, use your support system in this area too- ask for help if you need, and care for yourself.
TL; DR:
You can find a better work-life balance when you first recognize the signs that you are unbalanced and approaching burnout (like irritability, difficulty focusing, lack of boundaries). Then, you can take steps to solidify a better balance:
Re-prioritize your schedule and tasks.
Set clear boundaries between work and home.
Have flexibility (because life happens).
Seek support from your support system.
Begin and maintain a self-care routine.